Christmas

A friend whose sister passed away last month shared this with me. I hope it brings comfort to those who lost loved ones this year:

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,

With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear,

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,

But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voice bring,

For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart,

But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones. You know I hold you dear,

And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

 I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I send you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is the gift, more precious than pure gold.

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,

For I can't count the blessing of love He has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.

Remember, I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Remembering Mom

How do you put your most intimate thoughts and feelings into words?  Words not really meant for the world.

To the Best Mom a daughter could have.

There was always such a strong bond; the bond of Love.  My Mom could best be described as a little crazy with a wild sense of humor.  The first roller coaster ride was due to the insistence of her granddaughters well into her golden years. 

Rose, was not real big in stature, however her heart was full of Love.  Family was her first Love, but
it certainly didn't stop there.  There was a glow of love and warmth that all her friends felt and enjoyed.  If a one point you were not a friend or even an acquaintance it wasn't long before she considered you a dear friend.  Her circle of loved ones was continually evolving and growing.  Once in this amazing circle you were a lifer. 

The sweet words, the shared laughter and more often than not a joke or comment just the other side of squeaky clean.  Her sense of humor remained steady, right up to her last breath.  I know my Mom is in Heaven spreading love, joy, and humor and let's face it occasionally causing trouble.

Children were a huge part of my Mom's life; there was an immediate link.  A number of adults might say it was the money or the cookies she seemed to share with all children.  However, I believe if a child was asked to share their feelings about the "Cookie Lady" all they would have to do is smile and simply say she liked me and always made me feel happy :)  

Strength should have been my Mom's middle name.  She had her fair share of ups and downs in her life.  Many may not have been able to endure much of my Mom's past hardships.  My Mom did not quit or lose her faith; rather it seemed to inspire her to live life to its fullest.  My Mom knew the secrets of life (share, be kind, and help others) and she lived it with gusto. 

Mom talk to you soon; just wanted to give others a glimpse of what I've known for years.

Love You

Thanksgiving and Giving Thanks

Traditionally, our family celebrated Thanksgiving at my mom and dad's house. My mom made the turkey and stuffing (best ever!), and Terri, and the girls & I made everything else (it was all about the mashed potatoes for Terri & Alaina). My dad, Joe, and Don, and, as the girls got older, an assortment of boyfriends, watched football, while the girls gathered in the kitchen to talk and pick on snacks as we prepared the meal. Eventually, the task became too much for my mom, so Terri & I alternated hosting at our houses. Celebrating Thanksgiving with the whole family was a given - never- questioned - comforting tradition.

This year we needed to change things up. My dad was no longer able to leave their facility. Fortunately, Bellbrook has a wonderful in-house restaurant, so Terri & I made our Thanksgiving reservation there. Because reservations are limited to 8, it would not include grand or great-grandchildren. For the first time in 31-years, it would be just Rose & Bill, Terri & Don, Joe & me, and Teresa (Joe's mom). A new tradition was in the making.

My mom passed away two days after the reservation was made - two weeks before Thanksgiving. But, alas, this post is not only about the holiday of Thanksgiving, but the reason we celebrate it. I am so thankful that she was doing well enough up to that point that we had every reason to believe Mom would be with us for Thanksgiving. I am endlessly thankful that I had this amazing woman as my mom, and for the strength and gratitude she imparted in us. Perhaps because of all the hardships she overcame, she did not acknowledge limitations, and anyone who knew my mom talked about how grateful she was on a daily basis.

I am thankful that she infused our family with boundless love. She loved us so much it was a constant in the universe for each of us. She was our base and, before Alzheimer's, our shelter. Eventually, she needed us the way that we, as children, had needed her. I am so thankful that her example taught us the boundlessness of love. Her whole family knew how to give her all of the love she had given us when she needed it most. Thank you, God, that we knew how to do that, because she had taught us.

We are also very thankful that Papa was still with us on Thanksgiving to celebrate the blessings of our family and each other.

My Gramma, My Hero

It sounds cliche to say that my gramma is my hero, but it's true.  As a child, I was not aware of all the details of her life before me.  All I knew was how her and my papa would wait extra long in line to buy my sister and me the McDonald's mini Beanie Babies, and when we would push the couches together for sleepovers, my gramma would sleep on the crack, and how she would always make me the perfect oatmeal and Rock N Rye ice cubes.  My gramma was the one who put Vaseline on my bum after a bout of diarrhea, and the one who slathered mayonnaise on my sister's and my head when we got lice that one time.

I remember the first time I heard her mention a past husband.  I overheard her on the phone, and it confused me, but she didn't lie to me about it, she just asked me not to say anything about it in front of my papa.  Over the years, I would learn so much about the trials and troubles she went through before becoming my "gramma."  Every new detail created a more developed image of the amazing woman I had the privilege to call gramma.  What is most inspiring for me as a young woman, is how she was still, always, the sweet "cookie lady" who went out of her way for everyone in her life, whether she just met you or had known you for years.  Young people she worked with seemed to love their "Rosie" as much as I love her. 

As a young girl, I remember waking up in the morning after our sleepovers, as my gramma was getting ready for work.  She sat in the kitchen, with a handheld mirror, doing her make up under the florescent stove light.  I would watch her, the plastic kitchen clock ticking, until she would catch me and tell me to go back to bed.  The ticking of a clock still transports me to that mobile home kitchen. 

As I got older, she would tell me about the young "foxes" she worked with and how she told everyone all about me, to my embarrassment.  She would smile at, and approach, nearly anyone wherever we went, whether she knew them or not, to my embarrassment.  But that was who she was, friendly and outgoing.  And it was something she never lost.  Even until a couple days before her death, she was chatting with and getting to know the women who took care or her and my papa.  A couple weeks before she died, she was still trying to give her Bingo money away to random children!  She never lost her spirit.

Once my gramma started forgetting details of my life, and the appropriate questions to ask me, she would revert to saying, "you're so beautiful" and ask if I was "staying out of trouble."  I would joke back to her saying that I get my looks from her, and that, of course, I was misbehaving.  And even the last time I visited, she told me she was proud of me.

I miss her, but I think about such memories, and it comforts me.  My gramma was strong and loving and important, not just to her family, but to nearly everyone she came in contact with.  It made my heart swell to hear so many stories about my gramma from the people who cared for her in her last months.

And that is why she is my hero: because through all of the hardships and heartaches in her life, my gramma was still the most loving and wonderful person many people have ever known.  Of that I am sure. 

The Past Year-and-a-Half

     In June, 2013, Rose and Bill reluctantly agreed to move into an independent living facility in Rochester Hills. They could not accept that they needed assistance, but a serious medical setback for Bill prevented them from continuing to live on their own with just Rose as his caregiver. With meals, medication and housekeeping services provided at the new facility, the family was relieved that Rose and Bill were in a safe environment and still able to live in their own apartment. 
     However, by Thanksgiving, 2013, it was obvious they both need even more assistance. Along with Bill, Rose now needed assistance with activities of daily living. They moved into a higher level care-based facility, still in Rochester, and were there until this past summer.
     Soon the maximum patient services available at their assisted living apartment were not enough, and both Bill and Rose required a full-time skilled nursing environment.  In July of 2014, they moved into Sanctuary at Bellbrook in Rochester Hills.
In spite of her progressive dependence on others, Rose continued to enjoy her life and family. The wonderful staff of Sanctuary at Bellbrook provided not only great care, but activities and all of the attention Rose needed; everyone fell in love with her!
     At the beginning of October, Rose was diagnosed with pneumonia. None of us realized how rapidly the pneumonia-related complications would compromise her. It appeared she was gradually getting better, and up to the day before she passed, Rose continued monitoring Bill’s every move (J), receiving physical therapy and participating in activities.
     On Tuesday, November 11^th, Rose was going about her usual morning routine, but by the afternoon, it was obvious she was not at all well. By Wednesday, we knew she would probably not make it through the evening. We are so grateful the family was able to gather at her bedside to say their goodbyes and be with her when she received last rights. Though her youngest granddaughter, Kathleen, was in Colorado and could not arrive in time, she had been in town just a couple weeks before and spent quality time with her grandma.
     With God's grace, Rose remained aware of our love and presence until the moment she passed.

Alzheimer's Association

Please consider a donation to the Alzheimer's Association in Rose's memory.

Remembrances of Rose

 

Remembrances  

    Please share a thought, story or commentary on what Rose meant to you.

Her Life

Early Years:

     Rosemarie Collins (Goff) was born in Detroit, Michigan, on October 9, 1930. She was the 3rd of 9 children. Her father, Dennis Collins, left his wife, Rose, and two young children in England to establish a home for his family in America. After immigrating through Ellis Island, Dennis arrived in Detroit, found employment at St. Charles Parish and School as a custodian, and sent for his young family. Though elated to be joining her husband in America, the passage was difficult for Rose Collins. Not only was she tending to two young children, but she was pregnant with her third child, Rosemarie.

Middle Years:

     Rosemarie (Rose) grew up a bit of a tomboy, fondly remembering ice skating with her brothers on Belle Isle and hanging out with relatives, friends, and neighbors at her parents' home in Detroit. Her dad ran a blind pig in the basement of their Field Street home, creating a mosaic of people and memories in Rose's young life. She attended St. Charles School and worked at Sanders for her first job. 
      When the Great Depression hit, Rose and her siblings were divvied up to live among family and friends because her father lost his job due to declining enrollment at St. Charles. The family was evicted from the parish provided home when he lost his job. Eventually, Dennis became employed again and was able to reunite the family.

Later Life:

     Rose had three daughters: Vicki, Terri and Sandy. When Vicki was nine-months-old, her father died of an aneurysm, leaving Rose a widow and single mother at the age of 24. Two years later, Rose fell in love and remarried, and within a few years, Terri and Sandy were born. Though her second marriage ended in divorce, Rose did not give up on love. 

It was truly a marriage made in heaven when Bill Goff and she wed in 1970. It is no secret, or exaggeration, that Bill entered all their lives exactly when they needed him most. Though not their biological father, Bill was the role model and dad the girls needed in their lives.

     Eventually, when the girls were grown, Bill and Rose settled in the Washington Township and Romeo area. This is when Rose decided it was time to create a life for herself beyond the home. She renewed her driver's license and applied for her first job in many years at a bakery in Utica. From there, Rose worked in various positions at Lakeside Mall, Oakland University, and Alward's and Sheena's Markets.

     Sadly, heartache would once again find its way into Rose's life. In the fall of 1981, Rose was devastated by the news that Vicki had fallen into a diabetic coma. For over a month, it was touch and go whether Vicki would survive. Though she did, Vicki suffered a severe form of the disease until she succumbed to its complications at the age of 47. Rose, like all mothers who lose a child, lost a part of herself when Vicki passed away.

     Finding out she was going to be a grandmother was the only thing that brought joy back into Rose's life. Though Vicki's battle with diabetes continued, when Nicole and Amber (Terri and Don) and Alaina and Kathleen (Sandy and Joe) were born between 1983 and 1989, Rose, with Vicki's insistence, refocused on the blessings in her life. Being a grandma turned out to be her happiest role in life.

     Rose and Bill spoiled the girls in the best way possible - showering them with the love, time and attention that all children deserve. Whether it was bringing them to the park, having them over for sleepovers, or going to Disney World with them, the girls and their grandparents cherished their time with one another.

     Rose and Bill periodically had health issues in their later years. Both suffered and survived heart attacks and open-heart surgeries and each had other minor problems along the way. Rose was also diagnosed with, and survived lung cancer, receiving cyber-knife treatments to eventually put it in remission. The doctor told the family that lung problems would eventually be Rose's demise because her lungs were so compromised. We were just grateful that she beat the cancer and thankful for any remaining years we could spend with her.

     For the last five years of her life, Rose was one of the 5 million Americans who suffer from Alzheimer's Disease. The insidious and terrible disease tried to take the very essence of her away from us - the Rose we knew and loved - but she fought it with everything she had.

She remained Rose to the end!

Born 1930 - Passed 2014

     Rose passed away on Wednesday, November 12,  2014. The ultimate cause of death was heart failure due to fluid build up in her lungs. She was surrounded  by family - including her beloved husband, Bill (93).  We were so blessed and grateful to be able to express our love and say our goodbyes. It was Rose's  wish to  be cremated with just a family memorial, and we  honored that wish.

      However, Rose touched so many lives that we knew we had to honor her  memory in a public way.  Many people wanted to pay respects, so we decided a  website would be a fitting way for people to share their memories, express   condolences and to say goodbye.